Before getting pregnant I had heard of Mom Shaming, which by today's standards consists of bullying on social media or real life women vs women being judgmental and nasty when it comes to ones own personal mothering toward her own children.
Social media has made bullying worse in all categories of life because it's easy for anyone to sit behind a computer, unhappy and post horrible things to other people. My philosophy on what I post on social media goes back to my religious belief of treating others the way I'd want to be treated. If I knew something I put out into this internet world was going to hurt me if said back to me, I won't post it, period. However, I realized now that I am a mom that I've been thrown into an entirely knew chapter & group of womanhood.
The things I see people writing to each other on social media makes me sad. The areas that tend to cause the biggest uproars are the topics of Breastfeeding, Baby Foods, Working Mom versus Stay At Home Mom's, Pinterest Parties, Carseats…and really the list goes on. It's mind boggling really. Aren't we all in this together? I have had to ask myself this time and time again. So, instead I've chosen to not participate in any of it. Just like my own voice here, we are all allowed our points of view but more importantly being a mother is such a personal, private experience. The problem is, nothing is private now with Facebook, instagram, twitter, and snap chat unless you choose for it to be. All you can do is decide how much or how little you wish to put yourself out there to be judged and to be shamed. It'll happen regardless whether your on social media or out at the supermarket. Women are always, always, always going to be judged for how they parent.
I'm not going to lie, when I became a mother for the first time nearly 8 months ago, I read all the articles, all the "rules", all the black and white ways to be the "perfect mother". I drove myself INSANE the first few months because here was my firstborn baby and I didn't want to screw it up. But after some time passed I realized that things weren't really black and white. The way my generation was brought up was slightly different than how things are done now and we turned out just fine. So why was I driving myself mad?
I discovered that for every person who said "Breastfeeding in the BEST." there was another woman on the other side saying "FED IS BEST." For every person who said "Don't give feed your baby solids until they're 6 months old." There were doctors saying "If your baby is of the weight and size necessary at 4 months, it's time to introduce solids". I started to relax in time as much as I could and trusted my own instinct for my own child. And that's all any of us could do.
I hope at some point in time women stop bashing women because it's hurtful, cruel and unnecessary. We don't have to always agree. Think of it this way, if we did all agree on everything wouldn't the world be pretty boring?
Before you judge a mom or say something hurtful just take a moment to stop and realize you are not in their shoes, you are not that child's mother and you don't know what their situation is. It's easy to say that other people are wrong but everyone has their own journey, their own lessons to be learned and their own experience. Why do we need to rip each other apart for it?
In my opinion, our job as mother's is to raise kind people. Our job is to love our children unconditionally and do whatever it takes to be there for them every single day. What are we showing our children by bashing each other? We're showing them we need to grow up, we are showing them we need to learn how to behave and we are showing them that we don't respect other people's opinions. Just stop and digest that. Is that the lesson you want to teach your children. If not, don't do it. Our children are a product of their parents actions and reactions. Be the best version of yourself for your children.
